#41

No, it's not the lyrics for the Dave Matthews Band song! I just got back in to my hospital room after my 41st SPINAL TAP!!! Woo Hoo! Yeah buddy! Ok, enough of that creepy celebration. I figured that something big like that should have some sort of crazy joy attached to it. I'm not saying that I'm excited about having had a needle stuck in my back 41 times in 31 months, b/c that would be insane. I'm just saying that I thought it was appropriate to make a big deal about having 41 spinal taps, ok?! Ugh! The doctor said I have to lay on my back for awhile, I'm pretty sure I'm going to try it for awhile and then call someone crying to come and get me! hahaha! I hope that the doctor doesn't change my meds before I decide to leave, that would sadden me greatly.

Yeah, so I have to go home so that I can activate my new American Express card and use it for my Vegas reservations. I found THE BEST deal at the Luxor $915.00 hotel and airfare for two people. Not $915 each, $915 for BOTH! I gotta get home and get right on that now!!! i bet I could get it cheaper if I waited a little bit longer! They are gonna start getting desperate to sell their empty rooms eventually. HOLLER! When trying to book a vacation, I know they say the best deals are with those sites like Kayak, Priceline and Travelocity but that's not always the case. I looked through the Luxor's website and the deal that I got was much cheaper. And I could get tickets to a show included if I wanted to for cheaper than face value. So, instead of just running to these bulk deal websites, try out the hotel websites first and see what they have, write a few hotel/flight combo rates down and then go to the other sites like Priceline and Kayak and compare what you've found. I bet you'll be surprised!

I am going to have to find some cheap clothes to wear in Vegas. I don't have anything Vegas worthy to take with me. We're going for 5 days and I am planning on leaving the room for 4 reasons... The bachelorette party, spa day, gambling/drinking. the wedding/after party and that's it! I might come down to go swimming, but I'm not sure it'll be the right time for that... Laidies you know what I mean by that. My husband and I haven't been on a vacation since we went to Florida with Patch and David, and Jennie met us there. That was so fun! I think Tom and I are going to get tattoos in Vegas. It's our "vacation thing" lol. It's cool, I think. I just don't know what to get. There are 4 that I want to get at this point. Maybe one day I'll draw them and take a picture and post them on here... lol. OK, so I'm going to go lay flat and call my nurse and ask her if she can tell the doctor that I want to go home! Woooooop.


xo. H.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say" He says...

Why is it that men think that they should say what we want them to say instead of the truth? Sometimes those two things are different, how he really feels or what he really thinks and what he may think "you want to hear". That means that if he were to tell you what he thinks you want to hear, he'd be lying. I'm totally not down with that. I don't know about you, but if it comes down to lying to me or telling me the truth, I want the damn truth! For real. Anyway, every time this one girlfriend of mine tells me her husband has said to her "I don't know what you want me to say" again, I get really angry. I get angry because I'm tired of her having to be the bad guy. I can understand someone being intimidated by some body's strong personality or outgoing nature, maybe even loud voice. I just don't see how one can be so scared of some body's reaction to an original thought or comment that they NEVER  feel comfortable having or making them. I think it's sad. I also think that's it's not something this guy just developed while spending time with my friend, as a result of her behavior. I think this is something he has struggled with for years, since his childhood. I think during his most fragile years this guy got negative reactions to his opinions, thoughts or comments from the people he trusted. So, since then he has been bracing himself for negative reactions from everyone. I hesitate to get involved with these kind of things because they usually end up with some one needing therapy. Luckily I think everyone needs therapy and if it were me that's what I'd do. But it's not me, it's my girlfriend and I'm not sure she and her man are fans of therapy and talking it out. This turned out to be a lot shorter than I thought it would be, but I am getting tired and my eyes are closing on their own. Oh well. Goodnighty!


Peace. H

Maybe I'll Explain... a little.

I haven't really got the hang of regularly posting here. One of these days, I'll be able to make it something I do every other day. At this point I'm so turned around health-wise that I can hardly get a good night's sleep! I have Lupus, which I'm not sure I've even said on here before. And it has been taking over my life in the worst way. Right now, I'm even writing from my hospital room at Evanston Hospital. I have a condition called Pseudo Tumor Cerebri which causes my cerebral spinal fluid to build up in my head and cause terrible headaches. At this point I have to go to the hospital every 2-3 months for a spinal tap to relieve the pressure by draining fluid. My health problems can make my life pretty hard to deal with. One of these days I will give some time to fully explaining all of this and what it means for my life. Right now I just want to write some things that people want to read and I think a blog is a good way to do it. Maybe my friend will tell their friends (hint, hint) and tons of people will be reading what I've got to say? I don't know, but it doesn't seem as far fetched as it once did. I love the ides of someone reading something that I've written and asking me questions about it or leaving me comments. I'm excited to start telling more people about this. For a long time I have been scared, and now that the things I've written thus far are far enough in the past I won't be too freaked out to see what people have to say about them. I don't know if that made any sense at all... It did in my head. Hahaha! Well, this is going to be it for now, I'm getting tired and it's time for meds soon. I'm sure I'll get the urge to write about something soon enough. Maybe after I've slept.

xo Peace,

Heather

p.s. - I'd like for anyone who reads this to comment and either ask me a question, or give me an idea of something to write about. I think this might be a good way to really get started. Anything goes on here. It is what it is, after all!